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Friday, January 11, 2008

Big, Bad Wolves

Senorita Capasita Roja
Thank you for all the mama support in my last post. Wouldn't it be lovely if we could all find the same in our local communities?

With my remaining half brain cell that is still functioning, I've been attempting to have some Deep Thoughts (tm). You know — the who am I? what am I doing? kind of stuff. Plus, I'm revisiting why I'm not so nice to people sometimes. You don't see a lot of the Mean Michelle here. But, if you were my sister — woo boy — you would have lived it. If you were some young girl wearing the wrong clothes and drawing the wrong thing in high school art class, you probably got an earful, too. What is wrong with my brain/self that would have me do such things? The pathetic thing is that I still have that big bad wolf in me. Get close enough and I *will* bite you at some point.

Then, today, a friend sent a link about a possible/probable design theft. That kind of stuff really makes me want to bite someone.

Speaking of teeth: Has anyone had a young child put under full sedation for dental work? My little guy has three cavities, older bro has none. It's not as bad as some things, but I still feel like a horrible parent. Maybe I passed on weak DNA, or didn't brush enough, or nursed on demand, or shared my nasty mouth flora. And, now, I'll have to put him in what seems like a dangerous situation because of it. [insert mama wolf growl here]

And, while I'm at it: would someone, please, turn up the daylight hours or fast forward to spring? Remember the what-does-your-calendar-year-look-like idea? Well, mine is a vertical format with January at the top — pretty standard stuff — but, for me, winter is over after New Year's eve. January 1st should be the first day of spring. And, on my calendar the seasons are not created equal. Spring, summer, and fall can split up eleven months as they wish, but old man winter only gets December.

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Blogger Donna said...

My youngest had general anasthesia to take care of 6 cavities when she was not quite 2 years old. By luck we found a wonderful pediadentist--the first two we went to blamed us, saying we were giving her too much sugar. This dentist agreed that the surgeries Ivy had as a newborn (to repair an abdominal birth defect, she was born with her abdomen open and her organs in a sac on the outside) and the consequent stress were most likely responsible for her weak teeth. I also breastfed on demand, and only just recently weaned her--the dentist did not feel the breastfeeding was an issue, because the cavities didn't follow the pattern they usually have when they are from milk pooling in the mouth. She's nearly five now and still has problems with the occasional cavity, unlike her older sister who has hardly any. At the recommendation of our dentist, we started using a low acid toothpaste called Squigle just on Ivy. We haven't had a dentist appointment since she started using it, so I can't really say how well it works yet.

Because Ivy had several surgeries as an infant, this was problem less traumatic for me than other parents, but it still was difficult and I sympathize. She appears to have no memory of the ordeal and in fact loves going to the dentist and reminds me when it's getting close to needing a new appointment.

Fri Jan 11, 03:44:00 PM PST  
Blogger 'Berta said...

Hope your little guy flies through his dental work. Our second child had problems almost from the start as did a neighbour's child born the same time. Not sure if there was a problem with the fluoride treatment or what. Our child's surgery was done at the children's hospital and I was a nervous wreck until I seen her in recovery!

Funny thing...she's now a Mom and her first born had almost the same problems! Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Fri Jan 11, 03:45:00 PM PST  
OpenID twolimeleaves said...

That design theft really makes me mad. Really mad.

Can't help you with the teeth. It's pretty common, though. One of my boys had appalling teeth (James, who also had Down Syndrome. People with DS often have bad teeth) and it does make you feel guilty even though IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!

Fri Jan 11, 04:00:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Keri said...

I think teeth are one of those things you either are lucky enough to get good ones, or you get the shaft and get bad ones.

My son had to general anasthesia when he was 4 for some dental work - although it wasn't for cavities. He had an extra tooth up above his front baby teeth that had to be removed. So they put him under and cut the roof of his mouth to get it out. Other than being goofy coming off the sedation he was totally fine and was back to playing that afternoon - even with 4 stitches in his mouth. Kids are tough!!!

Fri Jan 11, 04:29:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Keri said...

Oh and honestly, with all the sugar my son eats I'm in shock he hasn't had 10 cavities so far! lol

Fri Jan 11, 04:30:00 PM PST  
OpenID mushroomvillagers said...

Oh, don't get me started on design theft. I have a lady who did the same to me and is selling my CD Pokets on Etsy still. Aaargh!
And as for the teeth thing, my oldest didn't have full sedation, but did get a little laughing gas to keep him "calm", but I hated it the whole time. I will be thinking about you and your little one.

Fri Jan 11, 04:37:00 PM PST  
Blogger Blaize said...

The bad teeth are not your fault. I grew up (as you know) with naturally occurring fluoride in our drinking water. I got cavities. My sister? Finally had her first cavity last year, at the age of 41. Since we had similar dental hygiene as children, I would argue that Shelley's awesomely cavity-free teeth are just the luck of the draw.

Fri Jan 11, 04:46:00 PM PST  
Blogger patrice said...

Annie had sedation dentistry and I'm still unsure about the decision. I felt panicked and rushed a bit by the dentist (in SC) plus the guilt and self blame I was doing to myself. So now I think I would have gone another route...
If I had to do it all again, there's a more under-reactive dentist in Aptos that I would have liked to have guided me through it all. If you're interested it's Shivley, Martin DDs.
I appreciated your honest posts about feeling lost in parenting and mean. Mimics where I'm at at this moment...

Fri Jan 11, 06:07:00 PM PST  
Blogger futuregirl said...

Someone copying you? That's a bummer. ughhhhh.

I love the little red riding hood buttons. Very cute. :)

My teeth suck and they have always sucked and they are getting worse and I take really good care of them. You're a good mama. :)

Fri Jan 11, 08:25:00 PM PST  
Blogger Project Pink Suitcase said...

I don't remember the Big Bad Wolf M. Maybe I have a very selective memory or am only running on half a brain cell too nowadays?

Fri Jan 11, 10:07:00 PM PST  
Anonymous angharad said...

The teeth are not your fault, and it's worth making it as painless as possible so he's not afraid of the dentist the rest of his life. And I too am starting to ask those questions-"who am I, what am doing?" I think having kids make you look at that unpleasant side of yourself we all have (I am snappish, hypersensitive and prone to holding the door for someone with a smile on my face and snarling in my head, "Who you looking at??")and wonder what you're teaching them. And age. Damnit. Getting older sucks. I thought I would be wiser by now.

Sat Jan 12, 12:01:00 AM PST  
Blogger OldRound said...

1.overactive guilt complex were just keeping it "real"
3.bark with no bite
4.worry induced by the perceived peachy keeness of online relations

Going under. DD2 has been under 3x in a hospital. Not sure how that all works with dentistry tho. It is common so I'm sure there is someone in your extended universe you can connect with that can advise you. I feel that people who put children "under" are very, very careful and caring.

Sat Jan 12, 04:45:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Cece Marie said...

Wish I could comment on the little guys dental situation. Unfortunately, I don't have any little ones yet. But, grrr I get so so mad, literally mad! about designers knocking one another off! Pitiful! Hurtful! Pathetic! Especially when knocking off someone like Mary Jane who has dedicated her whole career to promoting something so important! It has happened to so many of us including myself.
I have a apron called the Le Flirt and promptly after selling it on etsy someone else decided to sell theirs as the Flirt with a very similar design. So, I just want to send out a BIG THANK YOU! for doing your part and informing us about this "copy cat." The more we all communicate amongst our crafty community about this, I believe the less this will happen. Thank you!

Sat Jan 12, 11:31:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Molly said...

Thank you so much for sharing your deep thoughts. I appreciate you making yourself vulnerable. The result is that we all know we're not alone.

Sat Jan 12, 12:03:00 PM PST  
Anonymous jean said...

Oh my, I am going through the same thing with dental work for my second child. It sucks! Feeling like you let your child down is so hard. It creeps into your thinking even though you know better. I'll just have to keep practicing until even in those weakest moments of doubt I realize that I don't have to believe all of the nonsense I tell myself.

My health insurance covers very little of the overall costs which leaves us in the position of having to weigh finances in the decision making process. We may have chosen to do this in the dental office with a board certified anesthesiologist as opposed to in the hospital -- there are prose and cons to both locations -- but I hate that money even enters in to health decisions.

I just really hope we can keep her healthy enough for the anesthesia. Last year it was one cold after another all winter long.

I'm hoping you and your little one get through this ordeal quickly and uneventfully. Thanks for sharing your thoughts .

Sat Jan 12, 07:54:00 PM PST  
Blogger Daphne said...

If we all agree on winter, can we make it happen?

Good luck with the dentist; it sounds like you have lots of good advice.

Mon Jan 14, 09:54:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Santa's Helper said...

just wondering, is it copying if you are just re-making something not for profit? Like for a Santa Shop at a small private school? i have been searching for great gifts to make for under $5 and i need 3400 gifts by November, and there are sooo many great ideas, and i can't come up with all those ideas myself, so is it wrong to borrow great ideas online for something such as that?

Sat Jul 12, 09:05:00 PM PDT  

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