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Monday, May 22, 2006


Originally uploaded by Green Kitchen.
Ever since I birthed an eleven pound baby I've had this feeling that some people are thinking about my private parts, more specifically, the size of said parts. When I mentioned this to a friend she said "I didn't think that at all." Then, her husband reminded her of a cartoon they saw that said something like, "Congratulations Mr. Smith! You are the father of a twelve pound baby boy. Unfortunately your wife's vagina was destroyed." So, instead of letting these thoughts go unspoken, I have decided they need to be addressed openly, hence the VAGINORMOUS onesie. I haven't actually crafted this yet, but it's in the hopper. If you can't laugh about your vagina, what can you?


Blogger stephanie s said...

ok, if this actually makes it onto your child... you have, HAVE to promise to post about the responses you receive....

and yes, i wondered....


Mon May 22, 02:51:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous amanda said...

okay, this is brilliant. And so true, "if you can't laugh about your vagina, what can you."! Ha! I want to see the onesie!

Mon May 22, 03:28:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous nichola said...

Hillarious! I want to see it on bub too.

Mon May 22, 04:40:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Megan said...

Ha! Speakingof the mother of a 9 1/2 pound baby, I understand.

Mon May 22, 07:11:00 PM PDT  
Blogger futuregirl said...

I love it! I'm still laughing. Ha! Either people will think it's totally funny, or you will make *them* feel uncomfortable with their thoughts of your "private parts." Either way, it's a win-win situation, right? :)

Mon May 22, 07:19:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Rose said...

Priceless! I hope Carlo appreciates that after stretching your vagina to the limit, he actually gets a commemorative onesie!

Mon May 22, 09:09:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Jaana said...

First i had to check how much 11 pounds is in kilograms (4.98 kg) and after that i could only laugh. Hilarious! Our youngest was 4.9 kg's so I know exactly what you are talking about. But to be honest, it never crossed my mind that someone had thought what might have happened (and did!!) to my private parts after giving birth to her. She's 8 years now and this comes to me all new now! I'm laughing even more :)))

Tue May 23, 03:35:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous manda said...

Now that's funny (and probably a little sore too!)

Tue May 23, 06:10:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Amanda said...

Hysterical. I had a nearly 9 lber, which is huge for me! I feel the same way.

Tue May 23, 07:33:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Siri said...

I witnessed a friend of mine birth a 12 lb, 11 oz baby naturally outside the hospital with midwives. She made it look like a breeze.
In the hospital, they probably would have made her have a c-section.
She went on to have another home birth, the smallest of her three babies, weighing in at a mere 9.5 lbs.
I don't remember hearing anybody give her trouble about the state of her vagina, however. People heal!
I love the onesie and the fact that you adressed this openly.

Tue May 23, 08:59:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Ulla said...

Wonderful... Its always so refreshing to laugh at situations that were uncomfortable and you have done an excellent job here - What a lucky baby to have you as the proud mom!!! Thanks for your comment on my blog, I really appreciate it!

Tue May 23, 09:28:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Sarah said...

Vaginormous is the best new adjective. and also, ow.

Tue May 23, 10:07:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Pilar said...

I have a friend that gave birth of three sons, about yours size. All her neighbours and close friends thinks about her huge privates. And whenever she get a straight uestion about the matter she simply say that her husband and her are "a perfect match" for eachother. So no further questions :)

Wed May 24, 02:29:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous brenda said...

:) Funny!

Wed May 24, 04:36:00 AM PDT  
Blogger mo said...

Thats what I love about childbirth- it puts everything into perspective! We are all a bunch of mammals afterall. Vaginormous is hilarious!! Well done! Oh, and Carlo is lovely and so is his name.

Wed May 24, 11:47:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Jenn said...

I just found your blog...and what a wonderful post to start with!! Love the onesie!!

Wed May 24, 08:40:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Aurora said...

The best thing about having a midwife is she is so "hip" to these things. Mine was happy to take a couple of extra stitches for me, no prompting.

Kegels be damned1 Enjoy the new you.

Fri May 26, 09:57:00 AM PDT  
Blogger norththreads said...

Thats halarious!! They were saying that to me to(or behind my back) My son was almost 9 pounds!!

Fri May 26, 09:37:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Cathrine said...

I love it. You must put this at the top of the "to-do" list!

Sat May 27, 08:54:00 AM PDT  
Blogger mrspilkington said...


Sat May 27, 01:09:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Becky said...

Damn, I think we're amazing giving birth to 7 pounders! I love pilar's comment!

Sun May 28, 05:17:00 PM PDT  
Blogger BlueEggBabe said...

Just yesterday I heard Oprah call her vagina "VA-JAY-JAY" and had to laugh.
But 'Vaginormous'?? That is downright hysterical.

Sat Jun 03, 07:54:00 AM PDT  
Blogger kirsty said...

OH NO!!! I had an 11 lb 2 oz boy 17 yrs ago and a 10 lb 14 oz girl 14 yrs ago and it has never occurred to me that anyone would think that. How will I ever look at my friends again??

Fri Jun 16, 02:01:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Jason and Beth said...

this is so damn funny..i needed the laugh thanks! I also had to share and linked to you on my blog.

take care!

Thu Aug 21, 08:21:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Jason and Beth said...

this is so damn funny..i needed the laugh thanks! I also had to share and linked to you on my blog.

take care!

Thu Aug 21, 08:21:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Vonnie said...

That's absolutely amazing. I speak as one who birthed a 12lb3ozer, a 9lb 3ozer and a little 7lb 3ozer who was five weeks early!

I love Pilar's friend's response about being a perfect fit for each other though, that's beautiful.

Sun Aug 31, 11:55:00 PM PDT  
OpenID stonemaven said...

Damn that's funny. I almost bought the one from T-shirt hell that said "I ripped my mommy a new one!" but I just couldn't do it.
You Go!

Mon Feb 15, 08:14:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Sarah Wick said...

So, this is my first visit to your blog, and I don't know how I made it to this post, but I'm having a really good belly laugh. Thanks.

Tue Feb 23, 11:22:00 PM PST  

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